Trump: Most transparent anyone's ever seen

Satire alert: The first paragraph is real, the rest, not so much...

(Washington, DC) 'I haven't been transparent, really?': Trump snaps, loses it on reporter when called out on his lies (about the ballroom construction/East Wing demolition) in the Oval Office.

"How can you say that?!" Trump demanded. "I am the most transparent president--nobody's ever seen anything like it!" 

Nobody's ever seen anything
like Trump

Trump pulled out a large, laminated tagboard labeled, "Transparency Chart," complete with a glittering star and some notes in Sharpie.

Pointing to the first box, Trump exclaimed, "Look at that first box: IMMIGRATION! And the examples of my transparency are here, too! For example, I've come right out and called them vermin and rapists! I've pushed conspiracy theories that they eat their neighbors' pets, for Christ's sake."

"Or the second box: LAW AND ORDER! I pardoned 1,500 patriots who stormed the Capitol and beat up cops! I told violent militia to 'stand back and stand by!' I sent federal troops in to terrorize peaceful Democrat cities!

That's about as transparent as you can get."

Fox News reporter Peter Doocy raised a hand and asked, "Mr. President, what's that big square with the gold star?"

Trump gets a gold
star for racism

"That's RACISM!" Trump shouted, beaming with pride.  "I've been transparent about racism like you wouldn't believe!" Trump held the chart up so everyone could see. "It says here that I've called for the restoration of honors for all our great Confederate heroes. I pointed out that DEI actually discriminates against our put-upon, white male population. I even purposely mispronounce Ka-MA-la's name and still bring up that Barack Hussein Obama wasn't born in the US."

"If you think I'm not a racist, you just haven't been paying attention," he claimed in exasperation.

"As these chart examples show, I am the most transparent president in the history of this country," he said. "By now, everyone should know exactly where I stand."

Although Trump was apparently done sharing his charts, journalists noted one in the pile titled, "And Here's How I've Screwed the Constitution!"

Trump then launched into a ten-minute rant about windmills and wandered off toward the former East Wing.

Blood on Trump's hands: 57 and counting

Trump’s killing spree has got to stop.

More and more alleged drug cartel boats are being targeted—first in the Caribbean, now in the Pacific—with 57 people killed in U.S. military strikes. The Trump administration has provided no public evidence that those aboard were engaged in criminal activity.

No warrants. No trials. No proof.

Sec of State Rubio says Trump ordered this strike
on a suspected drug boat to "send a message."
Um, that Trump believes in murder?

Instead of the traditional (and legal) method of interdiction—stop, search, seize—Trump’s team has opted for missile strikes. No questions asked. Just assume the boats are drug-running vessels and move on to the next target.

To sidestep due process, the administration labels these attacks part of a “war on narcotics.” Victims are branded “narco-terrorists,” collateral damage in a campaign that has drawn condemnation from allies, US Congressional members, international law experts, and human rights watchdogs.

But here’s the kicker: the two survivors repatriated to Colombia and Ecuador have not been charged with any crime. Their governments refused to prosecute due to lack of evidence. Not cartel members. Not traffickers. Just two men caught in the crosshairs.

Presidents of both Colombia and Ecuador call the killings “murder.”

And really, who could argue?

Imagine if Trump sent drones to Chicago, or Boise, or Poughkeepsie, and gunned down people who looked like drug dealers—maybe they were in a certain neighborhood, maybe they dressed or acted a certain way. Could anyone defend that? Would anyone defend that?

Trump would:

"We're going to kill them, you know, they're going to be, like, dead." (10/23/25)

Senator Peter Welch (D-VA) lays it out in a letter to DOJ official Pam Bondi:

“Drug trafficking is a terrible crime that has had devastating effects on American families and communities and should be prosecuted. Nonetheless, the President’s actions to hold alleged drug traffickers accountable must still conform with the law.”

Translation: Murder is still murder.

My cut: 57 deaths and counting. 

And their blood is on Trump’s hands.

Trump news: That's got to be satire, right?

I was going to write a satire column today — but then I realized:

Donald Trump's truth is stranger than satire.

Over the past few weeks, nearly every headline from his administration has been paired with a quote or twist that feels ripped straight from the satirical site The Onion — except it’s real.

Just in case...?

News: Former White House advisor and ardent Trump supporter Steve Bannon suggests there actually are plans in place for a currently-unconstitutional third Trump term. 

Satire-like: Trump keeps a "Trump 2028" hat on his Oval Office desk— perhaps, just in case?

News: Trump's administration has destroyed alleged drug cartel boats in international waters, 43 deaths and counting. 

Satire-like: Trump shrugs off legal concerns: “We’re just going to kill people that are bringing drugs into our country. Okay? We’re going to kill them. You know? They’re going to be, like, dead.”

News: Trump quietly gets vaccinated with shots for Covid and flu.

Satire-like: Meanwhile, Trump's HHS Secretary — anti-vaccine crusader Bobby Kennedy, Jr. — insists the shots “fail to protect effectively against...Covid and flu.”

News: The DOJ may have to pay Trump for past investigations of his impeachable offenses and alleged crimes that were called off because he was elected.

Satire-like: Trump, now president, may be the one who decides whether the DOJ pays— and how much.

News: The White House East Wing is gone to make way for Trump's $300 million ballroom.

Satire-like:

Just like an onion, real Trump news stinks
 and can even make you cry...

Supporters say it's no different from Obama adding portable basketball hoops to the White House tennis courts.

News: Canada airs anti-tariff ads featuring actual clips of then-President Ronald Reagan downplaying the long-term benefits of tariffs.

Satire-like: Trump calls it AI, and slaps an extra 10% tariff on Canadian goods, for good measure.

My cut: If you can't make it to a satire site like The Onion, just check out the real news.

It's even more unbelievable.

Hey, Trump--attempted murder or just policy now?

US forces just blew up another vessel in the Caribbean for supposed drug trafficking.

According to US intelligence, the vessel was carrying "mostly fentanyl."

Trump affirms that the attacked vessel was transporting "mostly fentanyl."

Six alleged drug traffickers were killed in a
 US strike near Venezuela earlier this month

He claims the crew were "narcoterrorists." 

Two were killed. Two survived.

But, um, here's the problem. Actually, two problems.

1) Ecuadorian authorities just cleared the survivor the US repatriated. They stated, "There is no evidence or indication" he committed any crime.

In other words, in the determination of the Ecuadorian government, this survivor was not a "narcoterrorist," but rather an innocent man. And the US just tried to kill him.

2) US Customs and Border Protection data show that far less than 1% of fentanyl enters the country via Caribbean maritime routes. Virtually all fentanyl seizures occur at land ports of entry.

So, if this ship's cargo was "mostly fentanyl," it marks a dramatic shift in cartel operations— suddenly risking US drone strikes in open waters. Which seems highly unlikely.

So, what do these two points mean, really?

It means the US is apparently lying.

It means the intelligence it touts is either incredibly faulty or nonexistent. 

It means the traditional method of dealing with suspected drug boats—seizing/cataloguing evidence/building prosecutions/limiting escalation—has been replaced by "shoot first, ask questions later."

The Caribbean: home to palm trees, white
sandy beaches, and, um, murder? 

It means the US has destroyed numerous vessels (some reportedly not even heading toward the US) and killed dozens of people—without really even knowing if they were innocent or not.

Congress members call it unacceptable.

European leaders call it concerning that the US has presented no evidence in launching these strikes.

The presidents of Colombia and Venezuela—based on their own findings and the lack of US transparency—call these killings "murder."

My cut: That's not just tough to argue—it's nearly impossible.

Trump's Cut: Being "a president for all Americans"

2016, President-elect Donald Trump: “Now it’s time for America to bind the wounds of division… I pledge to every citizen of our land that I will be president for all Americans, and this is so important to me.”

Ah, such a hopeful, conciliatory, unifying message. Perhaps there is hope for this country—and this President—after all.

Donald Trump: doing all he can to "bind the wounds of division."

Fast forward to 2025. 

President Trump, self-styled defender of the Constitution, a "president for all Americans," posts a Truth Social video of himself as King, piloting a jet over "No Kings" protesters exercising their Constitutional rights of speech and assembly, before bombing them with a torrent of vile, liquid feces (watch it here).

Huh.

I guess that's how you "bind the wounds of division?"

Maybe it's a one-off? A momentary lapse of judgment in favor of misguided humor or satire designed to bring a smile to a division-weary populace? Surely, he doesn't feel that way about virtually half the country, right?

October 13, 2025 speech: 

"We have to take care of this little gnat that's on our shoulder called the Democrats."

Um, certainly just an ill-chosen metaphor to highlight political differences. Of course, no division should be inferred, right?

October 17, 2025, post:

(The Democratic Party is) "THE PARTY OF HATE, EVIL, AND SATAN!"

Um, yeah, if you want to be technical, well, sure, that kind of smacks of division. 

Trump: adding fuel to the fire
(Cartoon by Adam Ziglis, 2015)

But it's just Trump, right? There are still principled leaders in the GOP willing to stand up for all Americans, even those having differing viewpoints and exercising their constitutional rights, correct? The GOP leaders are surely working towards "binding the wounds of division," right?

GOP Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, October 17, 2025, press conference:

"We refer to it by its more accurate description — the 'Hate America Rally'...You’re going to bring together the Marxists, the Socialists, the Antifa advocates, the anarchists, and the pro-Hamas wing of the far-left Democrat Party. That is the modern Democratic Party."

Oh, boy. That, um, does kind of feel a bit divisive, doesn't it?

I guess Donald Trump has some work to do to meet his pledge to our nation and its citizens to "bind the wounds of division" and become a "president for all Americans." 

But he still has three years to work on that.

My cut: don't hold your breath.

UPDATE (10/20): House Speaker Mike Johnson just dismissed the video of King Donald Trump dumping feces on US citizens peacefully exercising their Constitutional rights, calling it "satire."

Who ya gonna call? Trump-busters! (a satirical remix)

NOTE: When ICE tactics start sounding like a horror movie...cue the clarinet.

The satirical song that follows critiques the Trump administration’s immigration tactics—not the agents themselves. And it is unbelievable that this is America. All incidents referenced are real.

The reality:

- Outside the Portland ICE facility, agents arrested a woman who was playing "Ghostbusters" on her clarinet.

- Witnesses say that ICE agents in Chicago's Lincoln Square neighborhood threw a man into an unmarked van with New Jersey plates.

- Near LA (and other places), ICE agents have patrolled near schools.

- In Massachusetts (and similar cases in many locales), a 13-year-old boy was detained without due process--with no explanation to him or his parents as to why and with no trial before transfer to a Virginia ICE detention facility.

The parody: 

Set to Ray Parker Jr.’s Ghostbusters, the very tune Oriana Korol was playing on her clarinet when ICE arrested her outside the Portland facility. Please feel free to sing along with the first couple minutes of this karaoke version:

Who Ya Gonna Call? Trump-busters!

Trump-busters!

If you wanna get

Folks playin’ clarinet,

Who ya gonna call?

Trump-busters!

If you wanna throw a man

In an unmarked van,

Who ya gonna call?

Trump-busters!

We ain’t afraid of no ICE!

We ain’t afraid of no ICE!

If you think it’s cool

To go raid a school,

Who ya gonna call?

Trump-busters!

If your master plan

Skips due process, man,

Who ya gonna call?

Trump-busters!

 

We ain’t afraid of no ICE!

We ain’t afraid of no ICE!

 

Who ya gonna call?

Trump-busters!

Boba tea in the "war zone": Trump's lies about Chicago

Trump calls Chicago a “war-zone.”

He claims he’s sending in the National Guard to protect ICE agents.

The same ICE agents that had a confrontation with protesters in Chicago’s Lincoln Square.

So, today I walked through Lincoln Square—a mere 72 hours after "violent confrontations" had occurred with ICE—I expected barricades, broken windows, maybe graffiti scrawled in anger….

Trump calls Chicago neighborhoods like Lincoln
 Square "war zones." I call them delightful.

But I NEVER could have imagined what I saw:

Children darted through the park playing tag, while nearby, their parents chatted.

A woman in her fifties strolled past with two impossibly fluffy shiatzu puppies.

A young professional scrolled through her phone.

 A couple wandered hand-in-hand down the street, enjoying a pleasantly warm autumn evening.

I sat down on a bench beneath some trees, sipping my boba tea, and marveled at what a beautiful and peaceful scene this was.

And I learned that this “confrontation,” was, at most, a couple dozen peaceful protesters upset that ICE agents were apparently targeting parents as they picked up their children from school. These were ICE agents, armored in tactical gear, that, witnesses say, threw a resident to the ground, handcuffed her, and flung her into an unmarked van with New Jersey license plates. That woman, a US resident, and one unidentified male were retained, but not charged.

There was no “war.” No “hellhole.” These weren’t, as Trump and his team want us to believe, “domestic terrorists.”

It was a small group of concerned citizens exercising their First Amendment rights.

So, when you hear Trump’s proclamations of “domestic terrorist” attacks, his descriptions of communities as “war-ravaged,” or “hellholes,” stop and think.

My cut: who do you believe, someone who’s never been there?

Or someone who was there today, sipping his boba tea?