Trump: Most transparent anyone's ever seen

Satire alert: The first paragraph is real, the rest, not so much...

(Washington, DC) 'I haven't been transparent, really?': Trump snaps, loses it on reporter when called out on his lies (about the ballroom construction/East Wing demolition) in the Oval Office.

"How can you say that?!" Trump demanded. "I am the most transparent president--nobody's ever seen anything like it!" 

Nobody's ever seen anything
like Trump

Trump pulled out a large, laminated tagboard labeled, "Transparency Chart," complete with a glittering star and some notes in Sharpie.

Pointing to the first box, Trump exclaimed, "Look at that first box: IMMIGRATION! And the examples of my transparency are here, too! For example, I've come right out and called them vermin and rapists! I've pushed conspiracy theories that they eat their neighbors' pets, for Christ's sake."

"Or the second box: LAW AND ORDER! I pardoned 1,500 patriots who stormed the Capitol and beat up cops! I told violent militia to 'stand back and stand by!' I sent federal troops in to terrorize peaceful Democrat cities!

That's about as transparent as you can get."

Fox News reporter Peter Doocy raised a hand and asked, "Mr. President, what's that big square with the gold star?"

Trump gets a gold
star for racism

"That's RACISM!" Trump shouted, beaming with pride.  "I've been transparent about racism like you wouldn't believe!" Trump held the chart up so everyone could see. "It says here that I've called for the restoration of honors for all our great Confederate heroes. I pointed out that DEI actually discriminates against our put-upon, white male population. I even purposely mispronounce Ka-MA-la's name and still bring up that Barack Hussein Obama wasn't born in the US."

"If you think I'm not a racist, you just haven't been paying attention," he claimed in exasperation.

"As these chart examples show, I am the most transparent president in the history of this country," he said. "By now, everyone should know exactly where I stand."

Although Trump was apparently done sharing his charts, journalists noted one in the pile titled, "And Here's How I've Screwed the Constitution!"

Trump then launched into a ten-minute rant about windmills and wandered off toward the former East Wing.