I was going to write a satire column today — but then I realized:
Donald Trump's truth is stranger than satire.
Over the past few weeks, nearly every headline from his administration has been paired with a quote or twist that feels ripped straight from the satirical site The Onion — except it’s real.
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| Just in case...? |
Satire-like: Trump keeps a "Trump 2028" hat on his Oval Office desk— perhaps, just in case?
News: Trump's administration has destroyed alleged drug cartel boats in international waters, 43 deaths and counting.
Satire-like: Trump shrugs off legal concerns: “We’re just going to kill people that are bringing drugs into our country. Okay? We’re going to kill them. You know? They’re going to be, like, dead.”
News: Trump quietly gets vaccinated with shots for Covid and flu.
Satire-like: Meanwhile, Trump's HHS Secretary — anti-vaccine crusader Bobby Kennedy, Jr. — insists the shots “fail to protect effectively against...Covid and flu.”
News: The DOJ may have to pay Trump for past investigations of his impeachable offenses and alleged crimes that were called off because he was elected.
Satire-like: Trump, now president, may be the one who decides whether the DOJ pays— and how much.
News: The White House East Wing is gone to make way for Trump's $300 million ballroom.
Satire-like:
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| Just like an onion, real Trump news stinks and can even make you cry... |
News: Canada airs anti-tariff ads featuring actual clips of then-President Ronald Reagan downplaying the long-term benefits of tariffs.
Satire-like: Trump calls it AI, and slaps an extra 10% tariff on Canadian goods, for good measure.
My cut: If you can't make it to a satire site like The Onion, just check out the real news.
It's even more unbelievable.
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